Love in Quahog...... a self insert fanfiction. BY ME. DONT STEAL.

 Quahog wasn’t exactly known for its romance, but somehow, you had managed to attract the attention of four of its most… unique residents.

It all started when you moved into the house next door to the Griffins. Your first day had been a mess—you had locked yourself out while wearing only a bathrobe, spilled coffee on Peter’s lawn, and almost got run over by Joe in his police cruiser. But somehow, instead of being a disaster, it made quite the impression.

Quagmire was the first to make a move, obviously.

“Giggity,” he had said, leaning against your mailbox. “You new in town? Because I can be your personal tour guide—especially in the bedroom.”

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t help but laugh. “Does that line actually work?”

“Eh, 30% success rate,” he admitted with a shrug.

Then there was Joe. He had stopped by under the pretense of neighborhood safety.

“You know, living alone can be dangerous,” Joe had said, crossing his arms with a firm nod. “If you ever need protection—or someone to help change a lightbulb—just call me. I’ll be there.”

Cleveland had been the most polite, of course. He brought you a homemade casserole and an awkward smile.

“Uh, hi, Y/N,” he said. “I just wanted to say, um… welcome to Quahog. And also, uh, you got a real nice… everything.”

And then there was Peter.

Unlike the others, Peter wasn’t exactly flirting at first. It took him a little while to realize he had feelings for you. In fact, it wasn’t until you laughed at one of his ridiculous jokes that he blinked and said, “Oh my God, I think I love you.”

The next few weeks were insane.

Quagmire kept trying to woo you with extravagant (and slightly inappropriate) gestures—like a hot tub installation in your backyard. Joe invited you to the gym with him, flexing every chance he got. Cleveland wrote you a love poem that was so sweet you actually teared up. And Peter… well, Peter stole Lois’s credit card to buy you a giant teddy bear.

It was flattering—overwhelming, but flattering. But as time went on, you realized you didn’t want to choose. You loved them all in different ways.

So, one night, over drinks at the Drunken Clam, you finally confessed.

“I can’t pick just one of you,” you admitted. “I care about all of you. Is that… crazy?”

The four of them exchanged glances. Quagmire’s eyes widened, Joe looked thoughtful, Cleveland nervously scratched his arm, and Peter… well, Peter just downed his beer in one gulp.

“You mean…” Quagmire started, a slow grin forming on his face. “All of us? Together? Like some kind of super harem?”

“Y/N,” Joe said, nodding, “this is highly unconventional, but… I think I’m in.”

“I mean, I do love you,” Cleveland said with a small smile.

Peter blinked. “Wait, does this mean I get to have three best friends and a girlfriend? Oh my God, that’s awesome!”

And just like that, Quahog’s most unexpected relationship began.

It wasn’t always smooth sailing—Peter kept eating the snacks meant for everyone, Quagmire had to learn the meaning of boundaries, and Joe was way too competitive on game nights. But at the end of the day, you were all happy.

Who knew love could be this weirdly perfect?